In another example of the package looking better than the product tastes, Scotland’s Kshocolât offers a duo of beautiful, sleek cardboard tubes filled with chocolate-covered strawberry pieces and orange peel — or so they say.

The Mini Strawberrettes are described as “tiny pieces of dried strawberry enrobed in luxurious milk chocolate and glazed with a thin cocoa butter coating”. They’re dull, shapeless, and indeed tiny little brown pellets and taste just as unappealing, vaguely of stale, chopped up fruit roll-ups. While the sweet creaminess of milk chocolate usually complements the juicy tanginess of fruit, this “luxurious milk chocolate” coating does absolutely nothing for it; there’s something slightly fruity and sort of chocolatey coexisting in your mouth without any sort of harmony, like an estranged couple sleeping on opposite sides of the bed.

Closer inspection of the label reveals there are no strawberries in this product at all! The ingredients include “concentrated fruit”, pectin, and “fruit and vegetable extracts”, but no mention of any specific fruit by name, which makes sense since there exists no fruit in nature nearly as tasteless as whatever’s in there.

The Mini Orangettes fare a bit better. “Orange” is listed as the first ingredient, so I’ll take their word for it, though they don’t taste much like “crystallized orange peel”, which I expect to have a nice balance of sweet, sour, and bitter. Instead, the product looks and tastes a lot like Good ‘n Fruity — sweet ‘n waxy — but costs about ten times as much. No kidding. The dark chocolate shell, while better than the Strawberrettes’ milk version, doesn’t justify the markup. And at least Good ‘n Fruity never had any gourmet aspirations.

Don’t waste your money and don’t be fooled by Kshocolât’s extremely disappointing little confections. I can’t speak for their chocolate line, but I will say they ought to spend more time on product development instead of sexy packaging and pretentious naming conventions.